Tag Archives: anniversary

I did 20 Years…and so did he

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A rather persistent, mutual friend insisted that I meet “this guy” that would be just perfect for me.  I brushed her off a couple times as I’d recently come out of a hurtful relationship and besides I preferred things to happen naturally.  Nonetheless, I humored her and agreed that she could give “this guy” my phone number.

He called and in a matter of a few conversations, we fell in love.  We had many subsequent, lengthy phone calls in the evenings after work.  Each of us couldn’t wait for the next time we could speak!  I agreed to attend a Christian concert with him and some other mutual friends.  After the concert, we all went out to eat.  I was starving.  Literally, I could hear the acids in my stomach raging but I was too nervous to eat.  I opted just to have a Coke and upon “this guy’s” insistence, a few of his fries.  I was so hungry, yet I wouldn’t eat.  Ah, young love.  Well, we talked all night and our love story was sealed that June evening.

We were engaged on Christmas Day and married the following June, 20 years ago.

What is the secret of staying married until death do you part?

I like the quote I’ve seen around, “We were born in a time when divorce was not an option.”

or this one:

“I was born in a time when if something was broken, you fixed it.”

There’s something to those sayings.  It’s called removing the option of giving up, of throwing in the proverbial towel, and pushing up your sleeves and working on it.  A little elbow grease.  Effort.

Marriage is hard work.

There are no two ways around it.  But did you ever have a relationship that wasn’t?  We are all enshrined in this flesh called humanity, and as such, we have tendencies of failure.  We also have huge capacities to love.

And in my Bible it says that love conquers all.

Love hopes.  Love keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not boast.  Love places the other before self.

That’s what love looks like.

Yes, love is hugs, kisses and all the physical trappings that accompany the marriage relationship and make it one of the most beautiful unions.

Sometimes life requires more than mere hugs and kisses.

Sometimes it demands forgiveness, forbearance, time, selflessness.

The demands of family, work, finances can be absolutely draining.  And sometimes one can feel like you have nothing left to give.  There are certainly seasons like that, especially when the kids are young.

We are happily at the stage now where our kids are nearly grown.  The two younger ones at home are 16 and 18.  Our oldest left home quite a few years ago and is 27.  So, the physical demands on us are fewer than they were years ago.  But during the years of great demand, that’s when dating your spouse really is important.  Carving out “couple time” is crucial to staying on the same page emotionally.

Twenty years now.  This June it will be 21 years!  God sure has been faithful to us.  We’ve weathered some fierce storms, times when throwing in the towel sure had its appeal.  If we succumbed to giving up, we would have forfeited the most precious love we share today.

When we were newlyweds, our euphoric love seemed incredible – like Fourth of July fireworks!  We thought it couldn’t get any better than this!  We were so young and naive.  Weathering the storms of life together creates an undeniable bond and deeper love than one could have imagined.

Am I thankful for the storms?  Well, maybe I am.  Strange as that sounds.  Without them, I would not have seen the sweet expression of love and care when my husband has brought me soup when I’ve been ill.  Without the challenges, we wouldn’t realize how desperately we needed one another.  Without the adversities, we would not know the grace and mercy of God as displayed through the other.

You know, friends, when we love our spouses, we are honoring God.  And when God is honored, there are blessings!

One of the most meaningful things my husband and I do together is pray.  When our hearts are overwhelmed, we invoke God’s presence and power into our lives.  When our hearts are full of thankfulness and joy, we express that, too, in prayer.  God is such a vital part of our relationship and He has always been.  I encourage you to pray with your spouse if possible.  God truly honors the unity of prayer.

Not only that, but I believe there is power in prayer.  Sometimes the most spiritual prayer is – “Help!”   God is close to the brokenhearted, my friend.

My husband and I are testaments of God’s grace and His power at work in our hearts.  The beauty of being married for a while is that before long, you know the other’s heart.  My husband knows what I will and will not do and vice versa.  Our hearts trust the other.

So, love begets trust.  And like a garden.  If left untilled, weeds will grow.  Don’t neglect your most precious relationship.

The grass is not greener on the other side.  There are weeds over there.  Till your own garden and your marriage will flourish.

What you invest in, you will reap the harvest.  Invest well.

 

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Filed under Marriage

My Husband, My Best Friend

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Okay, can I just brag for a moment?  This June, we will celebrate nineteen years of marriage!  Whew!  Time flies.  It really does.  Has it all been wedded bliss?  Not hardly.  Our journey has been replete with ups and downs, joys and sorrows, victories and valleys…just like most.  

Our secret?  God has been at the center of our relationship from the very beginning, and, how we’ve relied on Him to see us through!  We would have failed miserably if we rested on our own strength, but thank God for His mercy.  His never ending grace has not forsaken us.

I am so thankful for my husband.  He is wise, kind, generous, loving, compassionate, intelligent, hard working and creative.  Whenever I have a problem, he tries to fix it.  When I’m sick, he prays for me and nurses me back to health.  When I’m discouraged, he speaks uplifting words.  When I try to take on the world, he urges restraint.  😉

He brings me flowers, sometimes for no reason at all.

Is he perfect? No, but he’s perfect for me!  God brought him from half way around the world just for me, and I am ever grateful for that!

When we’re apart, I’m looking forward to our reunion.  When we’re together, I am at peace.  He completes me and we complement one another.  He is my best friend.  I know I can confide in him.  He holds my deepest trust and I am secure in his love.

We’ve been through many difficult and challenging seasons together and our love is richer for it.  Young love is a many splendored thing, for sure.  However, mature love, love that has endured decades, has a depth that is gratifying and fulfilling like no other.

He loves to sing and we often enjoy singing together.  In the quiet times, his melodious voice soothes my soul.

My husband strives to do things that he knows will bring me happiness.  He really tries to please me…and I him.  That’s what love does.

Just to “keep it real” … When we’ve argued, he forgives me and I forgive him.  We don’t keep score.

Love doesn’t attempt to change what it cannot.  It accepts and keeps rolling on. I think that’s one of the greatest keys to a happy marriage.

He captured my heart twenty years ago and holds it still.

…Thanks for indulging me to brag on my husband for a minute.

What do you love most about your spouse?

“My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.

My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!” – I John 4:7-12 MSG

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Filed under Love, Marriage