Tag Archives: Christian

I did 20 Years…and so did he

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A rather persistent, mutual friend insisted that I meet “this guy” that would be just perfect for me.  I brushed her off a couple times as I’d recently come out of a hurtful relationship and besides I preferred things to happen naturally.  Nonetheless, I humored her and agreed that she could give “this guy” my phone number.

He called and in a matter of a few conversations, we fell in love.  We had many subsequent, lengthy phone calls in the evenings after work.  Each of us couldn’t wait for the next time we could speak!  I agreed to attend a Christian concert with him and some other mutual friends.  After the concert, we all went out to eat.  I was starving.  Literally, I could hear the acids in my stomach raging but I was too nervous to eat.  I opted just to have a Coke and upon “this guy’s” insistence, a few of his fries.  I was so hungry, yet I wouldn’t eat.  Ah, young love.  Well, we talked all night and our love story was sealed that June evening.

We were engaged on Christmas Day and married the following June, 20 years ago.

What is the secret of staying married until death do you part?

I like the quote I’ve seen around, “We were born in a time when divorce was not an option.”

or this one:

“I was born in a time when if something was broken, you fixed it.”

There’s something to those sayings.  It’s called removing the option of giving up, of throwing in the proverbial towel, and pushing up your sleeves and working on it.  A little elbow grease.  Effort.

Marriage is hard work.

There are no two ways around it.  But did you ever have a relationship that wasn’t?  We are all enshrined in this flesh called humanity, and as such, we have tendencies of failure.  We also have huge capacities to love.

And in my Bible it says that love conquers all.

Love hopes.  Love keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not boast.  Love places the other before self.

That’s what love looks like.

Yes, love is hugs, kisses and all the physical trappings that accompany the marriage relationship and make it one of the most beautiful unions.

Sometimes life requires more than mere hugs and kisses.

Sometimes it demands forgiveness, forbearance, time, selflessness.

The demands of family, work, finances can be absolutely draining.  And sometimes one can feel like you have nothing left to give.  There are certainly seasons like that, especially when the kids are young.

We are happily at the stage now where our kids are nearly grown.  The two younger ones at home are 16 and 18.  Our oldest left home quite a few years ago and is 27.  So, the physical demands on us are fewer than they were years ago.  But during the years of great demand, that’s when dating your spouse really is important.  Carving out “couple time” is crucial to staying on the same page emotionally.

Twenty years now.  This June it will be 21 years!  God sure has been faithful to us.  We’ve weathered some fierce storms, times when throwing in the towel sure had its appeal.  If we succumbed to giving up, we would have forfeited the most precious love we share today.

When we were newlyweds, our euphoric love seemed incredible – like Fourth of July fireworks!  We thought it couldn’t get any better than this!  We were so young and naive.  Weathering the storms of life together creates an undeniable bond and deeper love than one could have imagined.

Am I thankful for the storms?  Well, maybe I am.  Strange as that sounds.  Without them, I would not have seen the sweet expression of love and care when my husband has brought me soup when I’ve been ill.  Without the challenges, we wouldn’t realize how desperately we needed one another.  Without the adversities, we would not know the grace and mercy of God as displayed through the other.

You know, friends, when we love our spouses, we are honoring God.  And when God is honored, there are blessings!

One of the most meaningful things my husband and I do together is pray.  When our hearts are overwhelmed, we invoke God’s presence and power into our lives.  When our hearts are full of thankfulness and joy, we express that, too, in prayer.  God is such a vital part of our relationship and He has always been.  I encourage you to pray with your spouse if possible.  God truly honors the unity of prayer.

Not only that, but I believe there is power in prayer.  Sometimes the most spiritual prayer is – “Help!”   God is close to the brokenhearted, my friend.

My husband and I are testaments of God’s grace and His power at work in our hearts.  The beauty of being married for a while is that before long, you know the other’s heart.  My husband knows what I will and will not do and vice versa.  Our hearts trust the other.

So, love begets trust.  And like a garden.  If left untilled, weeds will grow.  Don’t neglect your most precious relationship.

The grass is not greener on the other side.  There are weeds over there.  Till your own garden and your marriage will flourish.

What you invest in, you will reap the harvest.  Invest well.

 

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Consumerism

Americans are great consumers, aren’t we?  We will buy just about anything.  Rocks.  Others’ trash we believe to be treasure.  A shirt with some man’s name on it so we can be advertising pawns.  A bag with a strange logo emblazoned on it.  A motor vehicle because some commercial said we’d be cool or sexy if we drive it.  A McMansion because society says you have arrived if you live here.

Have you ever stopped and questioned yourself why you are purchasing something?  Far too often, I think it has to do with the pervasive subliminal messages.  I don’t think we were born with the need to impress or be cool.  I think we were born with the desire to be loved, fed and clothed.  Pretty basic needs if you ask me.  How did we stray so far from basic necessity then?

I’m not saying it’s a negative thing at all to own expensive things.  They’re all wonderful if one can afford them.  It becomes an issue when our identity is enshrined in things.  We all want to put our best foot forward (or at least most), but what about when you overextend your foot?  You dislocate your finances.  Not good.

Because our society is more connected than at any other time in history, we are bombarded with advertising as well.  I am a stubborn individual.  I turn down the radio on commercials.  I mute the t.v. on commercials (if I watch t.v. at all).  I close out the ad box on YouTube.  And why do stores think we need to be entertained in the check out aisle with a series of advertisements?  I resent the “in your face” brainwashing.  I really am not impressed with what some advertising guru tells me is the latest and greatest thing that I must spend our hard earned money on.  Not in the least.

Question:  Would you still buy that expensive suit, handbag, watch, car, etc. if you were invisible?  Obviously no man is an island to himself, but it poses food for thought.  Who does it matter most to?  Impressing the other guy/gal or something you truly enjoy to the extent of the price tag?

Perhaps I do not possess the need to be associated with some high fashion brand or exclusive logo because my identity was established more than 2,000 years ago.  You see, my identity is in Jesus Christ.  I do not turn to the things of this world to fill an inner craving of acceptance because Jesus paid the price on Calvary when He purchased my salvation and wholeness.

One day the things of this world will be no more.  Rather than focus on the trappings of this world, I set my hope and faith on things that will outlast this temporary existence.

“Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal.  Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal.  Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” ~  Matthew 6:19-21

If I strive to be accepted by society via Coach, Rolex, Mercedes, a McMansion, etc., what does that say about me?  If they let me in their “club”, would that bring happiness?  We are pilgrims, my friend … just passing through.  This world is not our final destination.  Do not set your affections on the things you see here.  We have an eternal home that will far surpass anything we’ve yet seen!

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” ~ Romans 12:2

To be sure, quality items are pleasurable and acceptable.  They just don’t captivate my heart.  My heart is set on things above.  And my focus is on bringing as many to heaven with me as possible.  You see when we’re caught up in replicating the culture of this world and fulfilling some need for social acceptance, our focus is often distracted from winning the lost.  It’s not about us anyway.  It’s all about Jesus, the One who took our place on Golgotha’s Hill, so that we may live eternally with Him!  That’s where my hope lies!  What say you?

 

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Filed under Christian Living, Finances